It’s been a year filled with me saying this over and over again. It’s been a hard year. It’s been filled with tremendous challenges that have included having a wonderful son Ethan (pregnancy is hard y’all), selling a house, moving across the country, wading through endless boxes, desperately trying to get everything put together, and trying to remember to breathe. The other day I sat and thought of all these things and realized that I looked back on my year, and for the first time in my life I thought of only negative things. That’s not me. That’s not the hope I’m filled with.
I think that it’s so easy to get bogged down in…well, the bogs of life. It’s so easy to think about the hard things and to lose sight of the bright hope and crown that I will lay this life down for exchanging it for a future glory I can’t imagine. It’s easy to not get everything done or for the day to go by with more disciplining and correcting that makes me feel like “the worst mom ever”, but I KNOW in my depths that’s a lie. I’m a wonderful mommy. Some days we don’t get out of our PJs and we watch a little more than the hour of TV I aim for, but saying anything about myself that God doesn’t is a lie that is intended to break my hope. It’s meant to make me feel ashamed. It’s meant to steal a victory that’s already been won from me. Do you ever feel this way? Here’s what is true in the middle of our feelings:
God loves me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139). I am a cherished daughter of the most high God who sent His son to Earth to be the Lamb that would pay a price I couldn’t (basically the whole Bible states or points to this). I am absolutely consumed with love for my babies, and that makes me an OUTSTANDING mom no matter the circumstances I stand in. I am not covered in shame, but am crowned in victory because of Christ on the Cross! The battle was won there, and any shame or failure has already been defeated because Jesus looked into the cup of wrath and drank it all in for me. I am chosen. I am delighted in, and my Savior is in heaven right this second interceding for me.
I guess my hope in a for a new year would be that in the moments where life hands my butt to me that I would reach for this hope and hold onto this truth with such a tight-fisted tenacity that nothing can wrench it from me. I hope this for the millions of women and mommies around the world who lose sight of this in moments when lies are whispered that seek to rattle us. Hold tight ladies, and know who you are and what you were made for – the radiant glory of God! Press in to His love until the lies can’t shout over the truth you stand in!