Affirming This Generation…

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affirmation, children

I cannot begin to explain the importance of affirming our children. I do not mean just saying I love you, but I am not down playing the importance of that either. Tell your kids you love them so much that it seems like it’s all you say. They will be encouraged and surrounded by that love all their days whether you are near them or not if they hear it now. 

When I talk about affirming our children, I mean to specifically speak to them who they are. We all know the world is going to tell them a different story. 

If she’s a girl, she’ll need to have affection and attention of boys to feel beautiful.  She’ll need to be popular to know she’s accepted. She will need to be like everyone in order to not be rejected. If it’s your son, he’ll need to be about conquests. That can be girls, sports, or standing out as the alpha from his peers. 

That’s what the world thinks is important. That is not what I think is important. I don’t want Lauren to ever going looking for affirmation in these way. I don’t  want Ethan to be built up by these worldly ideas either. This is not what I want them striving for. 

The truth is that all that is temporary. One of my favorite pastors said something to a young lady that stuck with me. “God did not make you for high school!” Don’t you wish someone would have told you that while you spent and gave up part of yourself just to belong? Don is a dear man and this is something I think of for my children. I’m thankful God put wise people who love Him in my life to teach me even when they did not know they were. 

The truth is if we send our children out into this world, fully aware of who they are, they will not need this empty affirmation. How much damage does the enemy do in this? How many hearts are broken and lives bent while someone is just waiting to feel accepted and like they belong?

Tell your kids who they are. I tell Lauren and Ethan as many times throughout the day that they are, “a gift, a blessing, and a joy.” She says it with me, and I can’t wait to hear Ethan’s voice say these words.  Actually, she made a bad decision and after we were talking about it. She looked at me in the middle of me getting onto her, and she said, “I am a gift and a blessing and a joy!” It was funny because she knew she was in trouble so she “reminded” me of what she has been taught, but it also gave me the opportunity to affirm more truth.  I told her that she will always be a gift, a blessing, and a joy.  Nothing can change that. No matter what she does or where she goes, the truth of who is does not change. Her making a bad decision does not change the love I have for her or how I see her. I realized after that God was teaching me to paint a picture for Lauren that would lead her to seeing how He loves her. I am honored and blessed to see where God is leading me while growing me into the Momma my babies need. 

Affirming your babies does not have to be a big, long speech. It can be simple. I tell both my children they are a gift because I want them to know they were crafted by the God of the universe and given to us as precious treasure (Psalm 139). They are both to be valued and cherished. My children are a blessing. Everything about their sweet faces and hearts blesses me. Our goal is to raise them up to change and impact the world for the cause of Christ. My unending hope is that they would say, “YES LORD!” to wherever He calls them (Isaiah 26:8). They are a joy. Being a parent is hard at times, and everything about it demands that you put the needs and best for your children above any selfishness in you. It is my joy to live like that because of the love and joy that flooded my heart when God answered our prayers and gave us children (Psalm 127:3-4).

I thought about myself when I considered this also. How often do I count myself a gift, a blessing, or a joy to those around me? My sincere hope is that I would see my own value in this way, and that I would live in a way that models that for my children. If no one has ever affirmed you I want you to know there is air in your lungs for a purpose. You are not just someone who happened to be born. There is a unique plan for your life written by God. The journey won’t be easy, but the truth of how much He loves you and how precious you are to Him is bigger than circumstances. He loves you infinitely. 

Please start today and every day after telling your children who they are so when they stand in the face of the world telling them they will know and can shout the world down in the face of the truth they have been so firmly planted in. Let us love our children enough to send them out ready to walk in light in truth with the foundation of who they are in Christ set in unshakeable ground. 

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Jesus, Let’s Just Keep It Casual…

I could not sleep over this thought that came to mind the other night. I have so many people I know who say they want to follow Jesus, but…

The list of reasons not to is exhaustive. I thought about some of the reasons I heard and what they were really saying about how they actually feel. If these reasons were written to Jesus in a letter, this is how I picture it going:

Dear Jesus,

Listen, you’re great. It’s really not you…well, maybe it is. You kind of ask a lot of me. I remember when I heard about you and lifted my hands at youth group/summer camp/Sunday morning service to sing to you. That felt awesome for me. I felt like I really wanted to “get serious” about having a relationship with you. I mean, I cried with all my friends in our matching shirts so it must have been real right?

Well, life just makes that hard. I still want to party with my friends, have sex with my boyfriend/girlfriend, I do not have time to read or pray, and following you is just too hard. I do not want to give up everything important to me, and to be honest, I do not think I should have to. 

I know the story about the cross and that it changes other people’s lives. Maybe it’s just easier for these “super Christians” to do what you ask. Maybe I am not made that way. I tried to do better and I could not do it so I think I should still get some credit. I mean I do not do everything I used to do. I think you should accept what I gave up for you already and give me some credit. 

So again, you are great and all, but why not keep things between us casual? Maybe I will end up following you someday. Maybe I can change my boyfriend/girlfriend once we get married and then we can maybe follow you together. I know they do not believe in you, but is that REALLY such a bad thing? Maybe, if we have kids, we will send them to camp and stuff. Those experiences were so fun. They did not really make me want to follow you more, but youth group at my church always took great trips so I do not want my kids to miss out. 

I mean it would be cool if you could help me get a great job so we can live in a nice house and so my kids can go to a great school. I really want to have those kind of nice things, but please do not ask me to go somewhere like Africa or India. I would hate to say no to you, but that’s not going to happen. 

Jesus, let’s just keep this casual. I’ll pray and stuff when I “really need to,” but I really do think I am not ready to get serious with you. Maybe someday because you are pretty cool, but just not yet. 

Thanks for understanding!

Do you hear even a little bit of yourself in there from your past or present? I know I do. I think if we are all honest, we would see that we have been casual in our pursuit of Christ at some point. 

Then there’s Jesus:

“Who has believed our message and to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed? He grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of dry ground. He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way; and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed and afflicted, yet he did not open his mouth; he was led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, so he did not open his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away. Yet who of his generation protested? For he was cut off from the land of the living; for the transgression of my people he was punished. He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer, and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin, he will see his offspring and prolong his days, and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. After he has suffered, he will see the light of life and be satisfied by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities. Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many,and made intercession for the transgressors.” Isaiah 53

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, ‘Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?’ that is, ‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ And some of the bystanders, hearing it, said, ‘This man is calling Elijah.’ And one of them at once ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine, and put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink. But the others said, ‘Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to save him.’ And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice and yielded up his spirit.” Matthew 27:46-50
“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died-more than that, who was raised-who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, ‘For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:31-39

Nothing about the way God has ever loved us has been casual. The fierceness which Christ loved us with sent Him through a crucifixion, absolute separation from God, and a depth of pain we will never know because of the grace that abounds from the sacrifice God gave through the crushing of His beloved Son on our behalf. Intense right?

That is how deeply you are loved. What are you really giving up in comparison to the love you are being covered by? What are you losing besides a life that has the possibility of hope and joy yet unseen?

“Then Jesus told his disciples, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.'” Matthew 16:24-25

May we always remember how fiercely and deeply God loves us and sacrificed His own Son as a ransom for us. I am so undeserving of anything but death, but I so causally pursue Christ in a “I will get you scheduled in soon” kind of way. May I be more mindful of my loss when I am not at His feet. When I am not being girded up for each day and wrapped up in the arms of my Savior I am saying better is everything and everyone else above you. I don’t want to be casual, but it’s not so that I cal feel good about that. I want to be all in because He alone is worthy. I do not want to be comfortable. Whatever the cost. It is so little compared to the price that ransomed me.

“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith-” Philippians 3:7-9

May I give Jesus my whole heart and may my pursuit cost me and spend me to the end of myself and anything that I put above my relationship with my Father. With every breath, with all I am everyday until He calls me home. 

Unattended

It has been a few weeks since I’ve done any yard work. The biggest reason is that I am in full swing with Grad school, the next is that it’s been super humid, and the last reason is that it’s been raining so much. This combination of reasons has left my yard unattended. 

In those uncared for weeks, things got bad quickly. Weeds sprang up from nowhere, flowering plants grew out of control, and months of work became undone. 

While working and listening to my Passion Worship Band Pandora station, I saw a clear picture of my relationship with the Lord reflected in this mess. How many times had I left my most important relationship unattended? What had happened in the wake of that decision?

“And he told them many things in parables, saying: ‘A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path, and the birds came and devoured them. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and produced grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. He who has ears, let him hear.'”Matthew 13:3-9

I hear you Jesus. When I am working on things besides attending to being assured of having soil that is constantly having new things from and about the Lord sinking in and flourishing, I’m allowing the ground of my heart and soul to be invaded and torn away. The barbs of weeds dig in and cause doubt. The drought brought on by my lack of hydrating my soul causes dry, cracked, impenetrable ground. How can God plant seeds that can grow here? Just as in the parable of Jesus, nothing will last in this ground. 

It is so perpetuated in our Christian culture to reach for a comfortable life that looks a certain way. There is no depth of challenging what our soil looks like so everyone becomes content. We become content to be a generation that drinks in pornography and dresses in inappropriate, tiny clothing while clubbing. We have one post on social media cussing someone out while a few later we want to talk about how good God is. People have sex outside of marriage and resigns themselves to this destructive behavior that leads to more broken hearts than whole ones. 

What is happening here? Is this how we accept our soil now? Have we become content with “most” of the weeds being gone because no one can judge us? When people say only God can judge me, my first thought is, “Are you ready for that? 

We will all account for every word we have ever said and everything we have ever done. How much time are we spending running around doing things that do not help us in our walk? What would our lives look like if we did not waste time on these things?

Do not let any circumstance, relationship, or sin keep you from tending to what is most important. It’s eternity that you are experience and are being molded for as you seek quiet space and the presence of God and Christ. You will never become like someone you do not spend any time with. 

Sometimes this pursuit requires sacrifice. Sometimes we have to let go of something else we are hanging onto to put the Lord in His rightful place. Christ is all. He is above all. It is easier to say that than to live it. I know that from experience, but I also know God is for me and His grace is sufficient. 

Matt Chandler is an incredible teacher of God’s word. He spoke at a Passion Conference, and he used the illustration of a child learning to walk. The comparison was that a loving father doesn’t do anything but cheer and encourage his child who is “walking.” Even if we stumble, our Father sees that you are walking, and calls us to get back up!

Attend the soil in your life so that God can raise up a beautiful display of His grace and majesty for the whole world to see!