More and more I am seeing posts from friends struggling with self-doubt and insecurity. I see the shame and guilt underneath their self-accusing words, and I have to say, THEY ARE WRONG! If that’s you, you are wrong!
Here’s some truth:
- You are not a horrible mom. As I have said to many mommy friends as a joke, there are literally people raising their children in crack houses so you aren’t the worst mom ever. I know that is not a high bar to set, but how much do you beat yourself up over dropping the tiniest ball you are juggling? Your child will not be in therapy 20 years from now because you didn’t get everything right today. They will look back and see a mommy who worked and toiled in love for their good.
- Not everyone is going to have the space in their world for you. Just because someone doesn’t make you a priority or honor you as a friend, doesn’t mean there’s something “wrong” with you. Not everyone is going to do that, but when you find the people who do, your people, you’ll see that friendship is supposed to be reciprocal. Loving and investing can’t just come from you. It’s ok if you don’t have this with everyone you meet. Invest where you are both being valued.
- There are things you may be working on about yourself. That could look like a million things, but you still need to love you today. Don’t just love the future version of yourself that is your ideal. Love you today so you value yourself enough to do what it takes to get where you want to be. You are worth being valued and loved, just as you are today.
- Don’t let people use you. Don’t let people use your body. Don’t let people use your heart. Don’t settle for what cheap because it will cheapen how you see yourself eventually. You will always get what you are willing to take. Dont settle for less than how you would want the person you love most in the world to be treated.
You are not alone in what you feel, but remember that you are more than this moment’s feelings that can betray the glow in you. Embrace that. Hold it tight. Don’t give it up or let it dim for anyone else’s satisfaction. Love you today. The struggle means you are still fighting. As long as there is fight in your being, you cannot be defeated.