Today we started talking about Lauren’s FIFTH birthday party. The last five years have been the fastest of my life. I can look back at a time and remember thinking about how long this much time seemed. Remember how long it seemed to take to get from seventh grade to high school graduation? I remember the summer after I graduated high school felt like forever before I could move to my new city and settle in my dorm.
I think the difference is that five years ago my focus shifted. I had been married for about four and a half years, and then our time was for us. We got to be selfish in and with it. We took trips to the River Walk in San Antonio on a whim and would go to late night concerts. We went to different parts of the world, played in Vegas, and went on late night outings to Buffalo Wild Wings with big groups of friends. I would mani/pedi whenever I wanted to or go out to lunch with friends. We had what was an abundance of time then. I just didn’t know it.
Then Lauren joined us on our adventures, and it was then our focus shifted in the best way. It was amazing how much time seemed to speed up. Don’t hear what I’m not saying. We loved and still do love being together as husband and wife, but there was something about getting to enjoy her together that seemed to amp up every clock while calendar pages flew by faster than ever. Watching her yawn and stretch. Watching her smile for the first time. Seeing her sit up and learn to crawl. Those first tricky steps. Every month we took pictures that documented her change. At times it was hard to believe it was time for a new photo then. We could never capture how much we had changed. There were never enough hours, minutes, or seconds to enjoy all of us being together.
The last five years have been filled with beautiful moments covered in sparkles and twirling tutus. In some ways I can’t begin to believe so much time has passed from the moment we knew about Lauren.
As we talked today about her 5th birthday party, my mind went back to her first. Making tons of Elmo and Sesame Street stuff seems like forever ago in some ways, and in others, it feels like only yesterday. I remember the fun of that day and how exciting it was for her to be surrounded by so many people that loved her.
Lauren has always been loved so well, and for that I am thankful. I think about the people present that day and it blesses my heart to know that every one of them still loves her. I remember the joy on their faces as she was passed around in her tutu, sparkling Toms, and big bow because she was still so bald!
She was so tiny. She was so delicate and sweet. She’s still those things – well, except for tiny. Today she’s becoming her own person. Today she has strong opinions on what she likes and dislikes. Today I get to watch her love her brother and find her own interests. Today I get to see her be a best friend. Today I get to see her tender heart find its way in the world. Almost five years later, I get to be so proud of the little lady she’s becoming.
Next Ethan entered our world like a swirling, ever-moving wild man of a tornado. The moment we knew he was going to join us, time accelerated even more. The energy and daring he has brought into our family fuels this place of fun in all of us. Remembering his tiny snuggles, him sitting up, him becoming a great escape artist, him never really walking but running everywhere, and his lack of any kind of caution will always put a smile on my face. His smile. There is something so sweet and captivating about his smile and beautiful brown eyes that gets me every time. He is the exact definition of adventure wrapped up in one little boy. I could never describe what it means to me to get to love him everyday.
In the last year, we learned about Joshua. At this point I know him better than anyone. I know his energy and movement are unending. I know how excited he gets when his big sister and daddy talk to him. I know how he likes to sleep with one of my hands curved around the gigantic baby bump he calls home for a short while longer. I know I love him and can’t wait to meet him.
Five years. I’m sure my heart will swell and grow in these feelings as each milestone passes. I am so incredibly thankful that I get to share these adventures with a husband who honors and cherishes our babies. I’m so blessed that he can’t even begin to talk about his baby girl being five.
I’m so glad that with God’s grace covering us, we have a lifetime of milestones to look forward to with all three of our babies. Fifty years from now I hope I hold each of these years this close to my heart and never stop treating each moment as precious. We’ll be looking back on more and more all the time, and before we know it, our babies will be out in the world and we’ll be blessed to look back on our great adventures together. What a life I get to have. My cup surely runneth over!