It’s hard to know when you don’t need to be strong when that’s been your only option. Either through circumstances beyond you control or through the consequences of your own choices, it somehow becomes ingrained in the fabric of your very person that you have to always be strong. Always be a contender. Always fight for everything you want. Work. Earn it.
That message on repeat can be a driving force toward ambition, but it shouts louder than words you need to hear. It pushes back against words like these: mercy, grace, faithfulness, and hope.
In this cycle mistakes can undo all the work you’ve done. There is no forgiveness for yourself or others. You begin to only count on yourself- never fully trusting that you can count on anyone else. The only thing to hope in is your best effort, which is flawed.
Anything that feels like not controlling all of those things shows weakness. Remember, you can never show weakness. Your worth is completely and inseparably tied to your success and accomplishments, and those things come by way of your strength.
In this, the idea that you could be loved, unconditionally, as you are, is a laughable. In this, the idea that all that you can do will never satisfy you is unthinkable. In this, acknowledging there could strength for your weakness makes no sense. Considering that there is healing and a desire to make you whole just because you are loved…
Thinking that you are not worthy, but you are accepted is completely counterintuitive. The gospel speaks those truths, and in those truths there is freedom to let go. There is freedom to simply be. No earning. No holding on.
There is strength found in letting go.
In letting go, you grab onto what is truly sustaining and life giving. You find a voice that speaks love over you. You find a strength that is steadfast and true. Unshakable. In this, you learning that being still and being known feel like breathing for the first time.
I was reminded of all these things and where I started in my walk with Christ while listening to Switchfoot’s new album. It’s so so good, and “The Strength To Let Go” held up a mirror that reminded me so of these truths when I needed to hear them. It reminded me to let go and just be.
I can’t help but think that someone else out there needs that reminder too. I pray you find the strength to let go where you need to!