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Five years ago today the coolest big boy in the history of the world was born.

I will never forget the moment he was held up for me to see him for the first time. I’ll never forget the look on my husband’s face when he looked at him for the first time. When they handed him to me and I got to see his sweet face up close, I was changed.

I looked into his face and a love welled up inside me that I didn’t know existed. He had me right there. He became my buddy and my pal in that moment. He immediately calmed at the sound of my voice and in response to being close to me. He knew he was safe. He knew my voice and my body as his first home.

Ethan, for the last five years, so many things about our first moments have defined your life in our family.

You still do everything at exactly your own pace. I’m still captivated by you every time I see you, and so is your daddy. Your face has only gotten sweeter with time. I look at you and see the kindness in your eyes and the joy in your heart, and I almost can’t breathe at the thought that I was given such a precious heart to help shepherd. I am still amazed that just when I think I couldn’t love you more, I do every single day. You have always been my pal, and you always will be- no matter what.

I want to always be your safe place. I want you to know that with me, you will always have a home. When you need me, I will carry that feeling of being home for you with me- in the same way I carried you all 40 weeks and one day!

Happy Birthday buddy! I adore you, and it is my privilege to have a front row seat to see who you are becoming!