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Do you ever feel like you are right in between the moment where the things are about to change? It’s like spotting a wave coming from the horizon. As it inches closer, you know things are about to be different, and that can be so exciting- or it can be so so scary.

I’m in a place right now of waiting and hoping. I’m not afraid. I feel like we’re been working so hard just to get to this place and the feelings of being in between are about to catapult us into the exciting and long anticipated unknown.

Next month we finally get to start ABA therapy for Ethan. This has been more than a year in the works. We have sat on a waiting list just waiting and hoping that we would move up to the top- any day. We are finally there.

For so long we’ve known that this behavior based therapy would be such a benefit to Ethan. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath in the waiting. I feel like I’ve been super annoying every month that I call to see where we are. I’m fine with that. Asking someone to pull up a list is the least of what I’d do for any of my kids.

In this in between, we’ve watched Ethan struggle and work and cope and begin to find his way. We have watched him become such a loving and funny person. He’s brilliant. The times that are sweet are so so sweet, and I truly believe that all of this in between time has been leading us to this moment of stepping into something that will help everyone around him know him better.

In this in between, I’ve been patient and oh so very impatient.

I’ve been shifting what feel like puzzle pieces in a picture so big that the edges are clear but the middle is unknown. I feel like some of the pieces just aren’t there- yet.

I hope this piece is a really big one. I hope this piece helps us move toward a more clear picture of giving Ethan everything he needs.