Christ Over Politics

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Christian, Christian Values, conservative politics, God's grace, God's love, God's truth, hope in Christ, identity in Christ, idols, Kingdom Service, politics, sonship, the gospel, unconditional love

I’m sure this is going to be offensive to some. If you find offense first, I hope you would consider that the words here are spoken in love. I know where I live. I know I’m in the conservative Bible Belt, but I can’t not say this anymore…

BEING CHRISTIAN AND REPUBLICAN AREN’T SYNONYMS!

Okay, now that I’ve said it, I have more to say about it.

It’s absolutely heart breaking to see people I’ve long loved and respected pretend or turn a blind eye or try to explain away horrible things that are happening in the world so they can remain loyal republicans. If you have to do that in order to defend what is atrocious, you should consider who you are called to be first and what is most important. If you can excuse literally anything in the name of party loyalty, then your sense of politics or patriotism, if you can call it that, are an idol.

What is actually true? What lengths do you have to go through to try to justify things that are being said and done? Who are you having to hate in order to remain loyal? Whose humanity are you having to forget in order to hold your party line? It doesn’t matter to me how you vote. If you’re having to do any of these things to have party loyalty, IT IS WRONG!

I know that every side of politics have major issues today. I’m not blind to that. I’m not just blaming one side, but the fact that I won’t support everything the republican administration or party allows and stands for does not mean that I don’t love Jesus. I’m tired of that being the undertone of so many things I hear and see.

I’m so tired of reading posts about how loving God means being “conservative.” I see posts about heaven’s gates being justification for walls. In truth, God sent His Son so that none should perish. It is by His stripes that we have access to knowing Him forever. It was through the graciousness of a God who loves the world that He made a way into His presence, for all the nations. No one deserves to be with Him forever, and we couldn’t have earned that. He desires that all would draw near to Him. He opened up a way for us to know His love at the greatest cost to Himself. Yet people will take and malign that truth to make a sorted and heinous comparison to what it means to serve a God that made a way and place for you that was undeserved.

To quote my husband, “The immigration policy of heaven is grace at the pleasure of the King who desires all to come in. No moral uprightness, opinion, rule or law following qualifies or earns your place inside the Kingdom. As citizens, it is our God given mission to invite others to be with us where our Father is. Any looking down our nose at those outside are indications of the sinful pride, entitlement, and selfishness in our hearts and says nothing of those outside. This analogy is the opposite of the Gospel and indicative of the culture that says we for some reason deserve the membership we have and ignores that we are equally deserving of hell as every other human soul. And only by the pleasure of a gracious King have we a hope of entrance through the gate. This analogy should encourage us to welcome others so that they may hear rather than dissuade them. Forget American borders for a minute. A dying world needs the Gospel. And if your patriotism prevents you from weeping over the plight of the hungry and oppressed then your patriotism is an idol.”

Either all life is precious or none is. Either we lay down our lives for others, or we don’t. Don’t pretend it can work both ways. We can’t have truths that we conveniently forget about in order to believe something that pushes back against them.

If we give up the truths of God to believe anything more than them, we don’t really love Him most. Again, check what is most important. For Christians, it should not be politics.

I think the fact that I love Him so much that I can see the wrong and step back and say, “No! This is not okay!” is a bigger testament of honoring Him first. How? How can I be expected to be okay with the things that are happening and being said in the world just so that I can participate and support something that isn’t eternal and shouldn’t be my moral compass?

When it comes right down to it, I can see where politicians go for those “hot-button” issues that are supposed to matter at the heart of what we believe so they can get elected. Once in office, they don’t take the lead on any kind of legislation or policy changes or fight to end them. For me, those things that stir people up and make them feel obligated to vote one way or the other have just become talking points and a means to get votes since they are not actively fighting to change them once elected.

If I have to choose between politics and holding fast to what I believe to be true, I will hold what means everything to me in the highest place. I will love others no matter how they vote. I will love them no matter where they are born. I will love them no matter what we disagree on. I will love them enough to have every hope that they can share in the opportunities I have known. I will love them and stand for what I know is right- not what it takes to be a good, Christian republican.

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers. But if anyone has the world’s good and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:16-18

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The Strength To Let Got

Tags

Christian Women, letting go, strength, the gospel, trusting God

It’s hard to know when you don’t need to be strong when that’s been your only option. Either through circumstances beyond you control or through the consequences of your own choices, it somehow becomes ingrained in the fabric of your very person that you have to always be strong. Always be a contender. Always fight for everything you want. Work. Earn it.

That message on repeat can be a driving force toward ambition, but it shouts louder than words you need to hear. It pushes back against words like these: mercy, grace, faithfulness, and hope.

In this cycle mistakes can undo all the work you’ve done. There is no forgiveness for yourself or others. You begin to only count on yourself- never fully trusting that you can count on anyone else. The only thing to hope in is your best effort, which is flawed.

Anything that feels like not controlling all of those things shows weakness. Remember, you can never show weakness. Your worth is completely and inseparably tied to your success and accomplishments, and those things come by way of your strength.

In this, the idea that you could be loved, unconditionally, as you are, is a laughable. In this, the idea that all that you can do will never satisfy you is unthinkable. In this, acknowledging there could strength for your weakness makes no sense. Considering that there is healing and a desire to make you whole just because you are loved…

Thinking that you are not worthy, but you are accepted is completely counterintuitive. The gospel speaks those truths, and in those truths there is freedom to let go. There is freedom to simply be. No earning. No holding on.

There is strength found in letting go.

In letting go, you grab onto what is truly sustaining and life giving. You find a voice that speaks love over you. You find a strength that is steadfast and true. Unshakable. In this, you learning that being still and being known feel like breathing for the first time.

I was reminded of all these things and where I started in my walk with Christ while listening to Switchfoot’s new album. It’s so so good, and “The Strength To Let Go” held up a mirror that reminded me so of these truths when I needed to hear them. It reminded me to let go and just be.

I can’t help but think that someone else out there needs that reminder too. I pray you find the strength to let go where you need to!

“Presentation”

Tags

being an example, engaging family, Family, Friendship, imagination, Parenting, raising children, reaping fruit, role model

I am always in awe of my babies. I’m in awe of all they have accomplished and who they are becoming. They surprise me all the time, and one of the best ways they do is through their unique creativity.

Now that I’m also working outside our home, Lauren has a lot of questions about what I do. I recently gave presentation that I talked to Lauren about. It was last month, and to be honest, I haven’t thought about it again. I’ve been working on other things and a millions things at once.

Today Lauren came up to me and said, “Mom, I need your help to do a presentation.” I told her I would love to help her and asked why she wanted to do a presentation. She said, “I can do one like you!” Well, that warmed my heart and made me so proud. I was all in.

She designed a set, we made a storyboard, we practiced, and she gave her presentation which was really a fable/fairytale with a blend of characters from some of her favorite places which included The Good Wolf and a happy ending. It was INCREDIBLE!

She wanted to surprise her daddy and brothers, and she definitely did. She was a great storyteller and even wrote it down to keep. It was a wonderful tale of friends who banned together to solve their problems and have a party. She was positively precious and engaging and entertaining!

Everyday I’m so proud of this sweet girl, and today I’m reminded how every word counts. I’m reminded that in the things that slip my mind, there can be something important to my kids that spark interest and imagination in them. Today I’m challenged to always be mindful.

I can’t wait to see who she becomes! For today she’s a wonderful creative playwright, set designer, narrator, and the coolest big kid I know!

The Cross is Joy

Tags

carrying your cross, joy in obedience, the cross

“You don’t get to choose your cross, but you do get to choose how you carry it.”

I woke up yesterday with this in my mind and heart. The second I opened my eyes, it was there. Anytime that happens, the first thing I do is go read scripture. In the battlefield of, “God told me” versus “The Bible says” in evangelical culture, the Bible says wins for me each time because if it’s not backed up by scripture, it wasn’t God telling you.

“And he said to all, ‘If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” – Luke 9:23-24

These were the verses that came to mind immediately. Jesus is talking here, and explaining what it means to follow Him. Here’s what connected what was in my mind to this verse immediately:

1. There is a part of myself I have to deny to follow Christ. That part is my flesh. Our impatience at times, our struggle to forgive when wronged, our unwillingness to see where we are Lord and Christ isn’t in our lives, and on and on is our flesh rearing it’s true depraved ugliness. There are so many ways we can be snared in this flesh, and all of them keep us from seeing that what God calls us to in all those places is for our good and His glory.
2. Taking up your cross daily. That’s where what was on my mind becomes important. Sometimes it feels like we expect things to go “right” and when things get hard, we feel wronged. “You don’t get to choose your cross…” what that means to me is that choosing Jesus means choosing your cross. They are one in the same. You cannot do one without the other. If you think that you are following Christ without taking up what it means to go after Him daily, you aren’t following Christ. God meant it to be hard so you couldn’t do it without Jesus. If you could have, there would have been no need for the cross of Christ.
3. To some degree people believe they can be a Christian without following Christ. How can you do one without the other here? Either you love Christ and go after Him or you don’t. There is no in between. Does that mean you won’t struggle in your pursuit of Him? No. What that means is not willfully choosing what He says is sin and calling yourself His child.

1. I don’t mean there should be a legalistic checklist for how you do life daily, but there should be a willingness to go after Him and carry the cross you were given to carry. Those hard things make a way for Him to be glorified in them. Those hard things feel like a struggle, but carrying that cross means looking up and seeing the cross that went before you. Jesus is the standard in all things, unto the point of death, He was humble and obedient, trusting God to be who He said He would be. Oh that I could be that all the time! Oh that this would be my default. Life would be so much easier sometimes if I set my mind and heart on carrying my cross knowing that Christ has gone before, the victory is won, and that there will come a day when the battle of my flesh will be over! There will come a day when eternity with Christ starts, and I hear, “Well done” because I kept my eyes on the cross that went before me.

The reason I think we forget this is because we want it to be easier than this. We want salvation and the person of Christ to give us ease today. We want that now so when struggles do come, we doubt God. When that cross gets heavy, we forget that we were promised that Christ was sufficient in all things. He didn’t die to give us nice homes, nice things, and an easy life without struggle. We are not owed ease; we are gifted with a secured hope through the cross of Christ.

Why is that important? We get too comfortable here. This world is not our home and everything about it screams for us to choose personal comfort and what feels good over our crosses. But God…

God loves us too much to leave us there. He loves us too much to give us cheap, fleeting happiness. He gives us everlasting joy through His Son. Through Him we can know joy here, and then an exponential amount in eternity. It may feel like you are saving yourself and giving yourself the best life of ease now to not picking up your cross, but the final parts of the verses I shared call for you to lose your life for His sake!

The life you are giving up apart from Christ may have seemed good, but the life you live following after Jesus, cross carried and all, will satisfy in a way that fills you with abounding love and peace and joy that the world cannot give. He is good and good to us. Following Him may not always be easy, but it is worth eternally knowing Him. You knowing Him cost Him a cross too because of His love for you.

We Are Daughters First

Tags

calling, identity, identity in Christ, mother's day, no therhood

I don’t know how many hours I have spent praying for my children. Those hours began long before they were born, and it is a mantle of prayer that will be one of my greatest joys all my days. I love my children, fiercely, with the deepest love. There isn’t a moment on any day that I will not choose to lay down my life for them. I love them, but in that I still have to remember that’s not my highest calling.

It’s hard to see isn’t it. It’s hard to see that we aren’t called to be mommas first. We aren’t called to be wives first. We are called first and foremost to be the daughters of God, and everything about how we love our families flows from that place. If we can see this, we will approach everything differently.

I am so guilty of taking my eyes off of this. I am so guilty of forgetting that I am chosen and loved so deeply that it is a joy to just sit with the Lord and read my Bible and pray. Being wife and momma are such huge, demanding callings, but God didn’t chiefly save me for them. He saved me for Himself that I might know and enjoy Him forever (mostly quoting John Piper here). Everything that comes in life after that moment of His choosing and my knowing God is affected by how I walk with Him.

There’s a reason for that. In the midst of ease or difficulty, I have to press into Him so that I may walk in the ministries He has given in me as someone who deeply loves the Lord the most. It is almost counterintuitive and definitely countercultural to live with your eyes fixed on Jesus and to remember to love Him most, but if we don’t we’ll lose who we are in Him and things will begin to win our affections more than Him.

I can say without a doubt the person that I was before the Lord was not patient enough for kids and all the crazy ups and downs of motherhood. Most often when I get impatient it’s because I’ve taken my eyes off of Him. When I stop looking at Him, I start being more like my flesh. He teaches me patience and every other fruit of the Spirit that sustains me and allows me to walk out these ministries with grace and a love like His. If I’m not looking to Him and clinging to Him with deepest affection, I will not do any of these things well. I will get frustrated and bogged down. I will feel defeated at times. He made me to know I need Him to do it His way, and the more I am satisfied in Him the more I experience joy in everything else.

Know that you are not just momma or wife. You are a daughter of a Father who loves and lifts you up. Know that you will be given many ministries and callings in your life, but none are more important than being near to the Lord that He might sustain and fill you. I do everything else better when I am pursuing the heart of God. I need Him in all things, at all times.

Today, celebrate the life God brought forth from you. Celebrate the ministry of motherhood. It is a beautiful day to remember what the Lord has done in making us mommas, but also never forget that you are still a daughter. Never forget who you are in Him is who you were always most meant to be.

Graduation Cap

Tags

be the change, follow the call, God’s faithfulness, graduation, injustice, Kingdom Service, motherhood, world changer

When I began this journey at Graduate school, I knew it was a calling. I knew I would carry the name of Jesus with me everywhere I went on any campus I worked on when that day came.

What I didn’t see until the last few days was a reason why I’m studying what I’m studying is important; I did, but not in relationship to the current state of the world. I’m going receive degrees in Communication Studies and Conflict and Dispute Resolution. Have you watched the news lately? I can’t think of a better thing to be involved in than teaching people how to use their voices effectively and well along with teaching them to deal with conflict in healthy ways.

As I come to the end of my time as a student, I am incredibly grateful for this call that put me on this path on the way to making a difference in this world for the glory and renown of Christ.

On my graduation cap, I will paint the quote, “I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change…I am changing the things I cannot accept…” – Angela Davis

What would the world look like if we all did something about the things we couldn’t accept? Genocide. Human trafficking. Rape culture. Bullying. Corporations owning politicians. Injustice. Clean water for all. Racism. The list is much longer than this, and I don’t think that I am at the end of this journey; I am content to wait and pray and move when called.

What does that thing look like for you? What can you no longer accept? Get in the fight. Stop waiting for someone else to get it done. Get yourself up and get it done! Find your voice and use it. Nothing will ever be better or different unless we shout down and fight against what is unacceptable.

If you think it’ll be scary, you’re probably right. If you think it’ll be hard to do, it probably will be. Don’t let any of that stop you from chasing down that thing by equipping yourself and making a difference. The difficulty is easy to see upfront, but that doesn’t mean the it won’t be worth it. Changing the world by ridding it of what is unacceptable in it is something we can all aspire to.

God is a God of justice. You were not set free for just you. You were set free to release His call in you by listening to and following Him. Go for it. If He is calling you, He will see you through. I say this as a wife and mom of three who was completely unsure of where the time or energy to do anything outside of my regular day to day would come from. It isn’t easy, but I’ll never doubt that every step of this journey has been worth it!

Go make a difference. Change is seldom easy, but is often worth it. If we all begin to change the unacceptable things, they will eventually be defeated. Stay in the fight. Be about your call completely. Never give up.

Your Way

Tags

aggression, controlling behavior, Parenting, passive-aggression, selfishness

I had a conversation with someone who was really stressed and heartbroken over one thing: her in-laws saw it as a full-frontal assault when their advice was not taken or demands weren’t met.

I’m going to say this plainly: no matter the role you play in anyone else’s life, YOU ARE NOT OWED WITH HAVING THINGS DONE YOUR WAY!

No one should have to walk around with the weight of the world on their shoulders because their choices are different than yours. There are only a few reasons why someone would burden someone else with this expectation:

1. They see it as a judgement on their choices if you make one that is different from them. If you have this problem, you need to deal with whatever insecurities you have that trap you into being so controlling that you can’t accept someone not choosing what you did.

2. It is a control issue. In the cases of parenting choices, YOUR KIDS DO NOT HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU DID THEY WAY YOU DID IT. Every parent is entitled to the right to find their own way. Even if what they are doing is completely different than what you did, THEY DO NOT OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION, AND THAT SHOULD NOT CAUSE A FIGHT.

3. This is a fight not worth having. If you’re going to insist on your own way above all, you are going to see division between you and whoever you operate like this with. Does love insist on its own way as the highest priority? No. Seriously consider how selfish you are if you can’t be in relationship with someone without everything having to go your way.

4. If you have something to say, be mature enough to address it with the person directly. This friend was deeply hurt by her father-in-law starting an argument on Facebook with her. Really? Facebook? That’s pitiable behavior, but it’s also maddening. It’s not ever okay. If you care so much about your way that you’re willing to throw an either aggressive or passive-aggressive tantrum on social media, you are not only going to make a fool of yourself, you are surely not going to get the result you want.

Here’s what it comes down to: the world isn’t about you. People don’t owe you giving you your way so that you are appeased. You can’t love people while only giving affection or time and approval when your will has been satisfied. Even if others cater to this and give in so they won’t have to fight, your relationships are superficial at best, and at worst, those around you are just constantly swallowing the resentment and anger they feel.

Who wants to make anyone feel this way? Who can live with that? Wouldn’t it be better just to love without stipulation? Wouldn’t it be better to give not as a means to get?

If you love people, insist on that. Insist on expressing that through ways that count. Insist on honoring their feelings and the relationships you want to have. Let go. Let them find their way. Even if they end up in a different place than you, that’s okay. Even if they fail, that’s okay. If you’ve loved them well, they’ll know it’s okay too.

Ma Mac

I am struggling with how to start this post. I have so much to say that I can’t fathom where to begin. This weekend I had the honor to be a part of celebrating the life of one of the most special people I’ll ever know. I got to be there to encourage and support two friends I love dearly, all while snuggling their sweet tiny boy who I love so much I could burst. Even with all the sweetness shared in that love, I walked in dreading the thought of goodbye.

I wasn’t alone. There was a church filled with people who loved Ma Mac fiercely. There was a church filled with people sad for their loss but ever so thankful to have been loved by her. Whether you knew her for a minute or your whole life, she loved you.

It was just who she was. Maybe that came from years of delivering babies as a nurse. How could you hold a sweet newborn and not love them right away? God called her to be a nurse, and the training she received in her calling blessed the world because she loved so deeply immediately and you knew it. You felt it.

As I sat in the church service I couldn’t help but think back on precious memories. She has known me my whole life. Ma Mac delivered my mom and two of my siblings! She delivered hundreds of babies in my hometown.

I’ll never forget her granddaughter Cheryl moving to town. We became instant friends. The first time I ever went over to their house Ma Mac opened the door for me. She had a hug and a kiss ready for me, questions about how everyone in my family was doing, and a gigantic piece of chocolate cake she baked from scratch!

When I graduated high school, people were able to buy bibles for everyone in the youth group who was a senior. Another lady at church, who was also precious to me, signed up to give me my bible. When Ma Mac found this out, she called the pastor Tim and told him that wouldn’t do! She then called the sweet lady who had signed up to give me my Bible, and after they arm wrestled over the phone, she convinced her! On that senior day, Ma Mac and Cheryl presented me with my bible.

On Cheryl’s wedding day, I sat reading the program before the ceremony got started. As I was reading it, I was trying to figure out who Rose was. It took her walking in to know that Ma Mac had a real first name! When I told her that at the reception, she laughed and laughed! I only ever knew her as Ma Mac. She was my Ma Mac too, but really, she belonged to everyone!

This Thanksgiving, I called Cheryl to say hi and got to visit with her. She asked me about my family while Cheryl showed pictures of my babies. She told me how beautiful they were and wanted to know all about them. She told me she was proud of me. She told me to keep working hard at school. She told me to always be a good friend to Cheryl. She told us to always be there for each other and to be sure to always call. She told me she loved me.

Last Tuesday I got a message that read she was gone. I was thankful it wasn’t a phone call because I wanted to be strong for Cheryl. I wanted to be able to encourage her with truth. I wanted her to know I was there for her. I also needed to weep.

That’s a good thing. We can weep knowing that our loss is heaven’s gain. We can weep knowing death was swallowed up in victory. We can weep knowing with certainty that someone is receiving their crown and finally seeing Jesus face to face. We can weep knowing that someday we’ll be there too.

When you hear about the life of one person and how much difference they made, it makes you want to be better. It makes you want to have the humility to love, no matter the cost. No cost was too high for Ma Mac to put others above herself. She gave and gave until she got to go home and receive her treasure and her Savior.

For adopting a whole city to the point that you had more children and grandchildren than the world will probably ever know; for always loving like Christ; for always being the rising tide that raised everyone around you, and for always being the very, very best, thank you Ma Mac.

Hoping Rightly

Tags

Christmas, hope in Christ, idolatry

There is not a politician now nor will there ever be, who can save or redeem any aspect of our lives.

The evangelical community seems so willing to sacrifice the tenants of scripture in their blind allegiance to a person or political party, and that is idolatry at its worst. When you can’t acknowledge the fault in something and refuse even factual information that undermines what you want to believe, you are bowing to an idol.

At the time of year where we celebrate the coming of Christ, it seems like a good idea to pause and rightly acknowledge the one who came to give redeeming grace. It seems insane to hold others up in a position they don’t belong in as we shout down the war on Christmas (which isn’t a thing), all while praising those who said they saved it. They have never saved anything or anyone.

I hate that meme where Jesus is telling Santa He’s sad because Christmas is all about Santa. I think it’s ridiculous. I do however think that if anything would devastate the heart of Christ, it’s not a pretend figure getting attention and adoration, but one who is flesh and blood for whom people will push down what Christ has called wrong to justify and explain and excuse their words and actions.

So let’s be clear:

• Slavery was and is still wrong. Unquestionably. Don’t argue for anything around it and include it.
• Touching, molesting, or having sexual contact with children is wrong. The inability to admit that it is wrong, no matter when it happened, is detestable.
• White supremacy or any other radical group based on being racially superiority which also seeks to destroy others because of race, religion, or ethnicity are from hell.
• It’s not okay to lie for convenience.
• It’s not okay to grope or touch someone sexually because of your position in anything.
• Racial profiling is wrong.

It’s 2017, and I just typed that list. It’s 2017 and those things have to be said. That’s appalling, and that should make us all truly, deeply sad.

As I begin to prepare my home for Christmas, I want to hope rightly in the Christ who came to save and redeem the world. I want to remember that I am to make much of Him here and then go and enjoy Him forever. I won’t accomplish that if I hope in anything or anyone else.

To hope rightly means to hope all things in the person of Christ. It also means to be willing to call out things done in His name that are not a reflection of His heart; things that make a mockery of that hope.

I’ve most often known that people who don’t want to call out wrong won’t because they don’t want to have to do that with people they love or themselves. You can’t accept everything. The Bible calls us to sober judgement, and if you can excuse anything I mentioned above, I’d challenge you to examine why you can’t say things which are wrong are wrong.

Christ has come. Hope in that. That hope, in Him, is all you need.

Backpack

Tags

America, Fear, love, Prejudice, protest, racial profiling, racism

If my husband meets me at a store, as soon as he sees me, the first thing he does is take the backpack full of our kid’s stuff off of my back. Why? I won’t push it around in my shopping cart. Why? The answer to that question is long.

The answer is based on a lifetime of experience which has taught me that having the backpack at all means I’ll probably be followed through the store, but placing it in the shopping cart means I definitely will be. Actually, the backpack isn’t a requirement for being followed; it happens without it. A lot.

Let that sink in. Have you ever had to think about something so trivial? Have you ever considered that there are people in the world who make decisions to try to protect themselves from being treated like criminals because life has taught them that people will assume the worst of them on sight?

There was a store in Kansas City that we stopped going to. Why? Every time we shopped there, I was followed. I don’t mean I think I was followed; I mean at least one employee followed me from section to section, watching me. When I would make eye contact, they came closer, scanning my basket, and asking if I was still okay. Counting. Checking.

The last visit, it was two different women. One followed me all the way from the upstairs section of this 270,000 square foot store, and when another employee downstairs noticed me, she joined the task force. As I was looking in the women’s section, they both actually almost ran into each other because they were so carefully watching me. It was like watching a Curly and Larry, but these two stooges did not illicit laughter from me. Before you say it, yes, I contacted the store’s management on both occasions. No. I was never contacted back.

The first time it happened was the first time my husband noticed that I was being followed. It really bothered him, and I had to explain to him why this person was conspicuously following me; if I have a bag and look how I look I know she thinks there’s a chance I could try to steal merchandise in it.

That’s why my backpack stays on my back and never goes into the cart. I know they know it would make it easier to steal if I can just slip stuff directly into my bag.

Now my husband carriers our bag. We have never once been followed with the bag in his cart or on his back. My husband and I have adored each other for ten years of marriage, and in that time he’s become more aware of the freedoms that are afforded him based solely on the way he looks in contrast with me.

The people who follow me in stores base their decision to do so on nothing about me besides what I look like. They don’t know me. They don’t know my character. They don’t know that I have no desire to steal from them. All they know is what they see.

Can you imagine that for a moment? Can you imagine that there are people in the world who have to make decisions, “big” and “small,” based on knowing that the way they look is going to determine how they will be treated in an innumerable amount of situations?

Imagine where you aren’t just someone’s friend, but you are their “black friend.” Imagine being asked why you think you belong with your friends when you are the only one who isn’t white or having people talk about you right in front of you expressing how you “don’t belong.”

Imagine knowing that checking a box and having a certain name will mean that you will have no less than three more interviews for the same job as someone else because you find out later the company has never hired a black person. Imagine finding out that after meeting you and seeing you, they felt better because of your light skin, but still needed three more interviews to be sure they wanted to hire you.

Have you ever been spared the additional pat down at the airport? Have you ever not had your hands swabbed? I don’t know what it would be like not to have to give extra time in security because there are always extra measures taken to check me out anytime I want to fly somewhere.

Can you feel that? Can you hear it?

I am not free to live my life in the same manner as so many people I love based solely on the fact that I look different. I am not free in all the ways that have been penned into law.

The Constitution has always said that men were created equal, but history shows how that is not the case. Have you ever had a heritage that counted your ancestors at 3/5 a person? Do you know what Jim Crow laws actually said? Don’t just know the name; go read them. Do you know what red-lining is? Look it up. Do you know why and when Civil War monuments were put up? Do you know that their locations were strategic for the use of intimidation at voting stations and courthouses? Have to read them? Do you know how inaccurate they are in true historical context?

None of these things may mean anything to you, but that doesn’t change someone else’s narrative. You may be able to shop or drive a car without concern that how you look will immediately cast you in a role of threat or criminal. I hope that’s true for you, but I’d like it to be true for everyone.

I believe in a really big America (reference to Jon Foreman article I will share a link for below- please read it). I believe in an America big enough for freedom that doesn’t lead others to operate out of fear. That’s what I’m doing by carrying that backpack. It’s an extra thirty pounds on my back (I have three kids so it’s a really heavy bag), but it’s nothing compared to the weight around my heart.

I imagine there are others with similar weights from being marginalized or treated differently for reasons you can’t control. I care about your weighted heart just as much as mine, and I believe that we really can see change if we love and strive to make a difference to the height our potential to exert change where we are most needed.

Where are you most needed? What injustices do you see that ignite something in you that screams, “No more!” because it keeps you up and rattles you? Go to that place and put your hands into the muck and start the work of turning the muck into something beautiful.

As we care enough to carry each other’s weight, we move forward in love and toward freedom. That’s a bigger America than you may be able to imagine. If it is, I’d challenge you to see the world outside yourself long enough to push back your preconceived notions. If you can’t do that, then you can’t love. If you can’t love long enough to listen, you are part of the problem. If you are part of the problem, open your heart and mind to become part of the solution.

http://switchfoot.com/the-national-anthem/